Upon Vestia: Chapter Nine

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Thaila winced, "I...uhm dont remember much but that maaay of been me." He said sheepishly, "Sorry.."

"That sounds depressing," Ellie said. "You'll like this more cheerful sort of holiday, I bet. It's fun. There's chocolate." She paused, "Can your species eat chocolate stuff?"

Kay frowned. [I have no idea. it's never come up. ] He shrugged, well he could eat that cake of Heny's with no ill effect so presumably it was fine right? [And yes, it is depressing. They used to shut the station down and run a skeleton service, even though there was really no reason to do so. Tradition or something. The pilots wouldn't fly on longest night, bad luck or something. Battles were halted and we didn't get many casualties, so it was a welcome night off at least. ]

"Never? Wow." Ellie laughed. "We'll introduce you to hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows sometimes, then. It'll be good for you."
She started hanging ornaments off Vestia's cameras.
"Well it's nice you got a break, at least."

"And it not fair that even when I try to compermise you completely blow me off." Thaila pointed out, "Yes I agree blowing off steam is good and much needed on this ship..."

Kay nodded, bemused about the decorating and the hot chocolate. [of course it did mean we had to put up with the resident pilots under our feet, and they were always extremely irritating. And nobody could be discharged because nobody would ferry them home. ]

--

Matt rubbed his temples, this wasn't getting them anywhere.
"For 2 years I worked in a munitions factory, we had to obey or they beat the crap out of us. About 3 months in I decided I didn't want to have to try to tow the line, I couldn't avoid displeasing them anyway so why try? They tried a lot of threats, even threatened to cut my hair. I grabbed the nearest sharp implement and did it for them. After a while they worked out nothing they could do to me would make me bend, so they threatened my brother instead. I had to keep my head down, work hard, make sure I didn't do anything wrong or else they'd hurt him. Two years we lived in that hell, and when we left I decided I was never going to do what someone told me to do again. And I stand by that Thalia. I don't care whether you think it's in my best interests or not, I am NOT going to bend to someone else's will ever again. I love you Thalia, I really do, but I will NOT be dictated to. I'm going to eat and drink what I want, i'm going to hang out with whoever I want, i'm gonna be a fucking idiot and you know why? Because this is the first time in my entire life i've had that luxury. And sure it's petty, sure it's childish, but you can't boss me around Thalia. Any attempt I WILL fight, I can't help myself. "He looked away, gritting his teeth. He wasn't even sure WHY this was such a big deal, but it was, not just the coffee, their last argument had resulted in similar demands about his drinking and friendship with Ellie. He knew this was an overreaction, but damnit, he couldn't outrun this wave. He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I should.. just go before I make things worse."

".....Maybe this was a mistake." Thaila said softly, "We cant move foreward as a couple until we both learn to compermise...and it obviously will not happen anywhere in the future."

Matt stared at the floor. "I don't think I can do this conversation right now." He murmured.

Thaila stood, "I'll leave you be then." He took his book and headed towards his favorite place to vent steam, the gym. Wisely he kept his back towards Matt to hid the tears that shed down, his hearts aching.

Matt tried his best to remain standing even though his legs wanted to go out from under him. He reached out a hand to catch his balance on the back of a chair, and slumped into it, staring at the floor blankly as he willed himself NOT to cry damnit. He was a moron right? He'd just fucked up the one good thing he had in his life.

Thaila would be in the gym for quiet a few hours, leaving the poor punching bag no mercy felt the urge to bang his head onto a nearby wall but fought it.

flying_purple_monkfish wrote:Kay nodded, bemused about the decorating and the hot chocolate. [of course it did mean we had to put up with the resident pilots under our feet, and they were always extremely irritating. And nobody could be discharged because nobody would ferry them home. ]

"Did they have uniforms? Gotta love a pilot in uniform," Ellie said.

~~
"Hey Thalia, want to talk?" Vestia asked sympathetically. She knew he might want to be left alone, but she was worried about him.

~~
Asher would finish fixing the poor bot, which scuttled off to hide under a shuttle, and head back to the inhabited levels of the ship. He spotted Matt looking miserable as he passed the room, and came back to look in, "Hey Matt, what happened?"

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked dryly..

Kay smiled oddly and nodded. [I don't think the imperium fleet uniforms are quite what you have in mind though. ]

---

Matt tensed at Asher's voice. "Yeah... i'm fine." He didn't sound fine at all. He took a deep breath and looked up. "I just managed to fuck up my entire relationship with Thalia over something really dumb." He sounded pained. "And I don't know how to fix it. Or if.. I even should.. or can." He closed his eyes, his chest hurt.

Shane snorted softly at that question from Ellie, going to put up decorations. The hawk girls had already left the room to do the same.

~~~
Starr came out and looked to the bot under her shuttle then after Asher and decided to go and see what everyone was up to. She locked up the shuttle then headed off searching

"You're the one who's having a crappy day because your boyfriend keeps overreacting," Vestia said to Thalia, "How about you tell me what you want to talk about?"

~~
"Aww, no devastatingly sexy men and ladies in uniform?" Ellie said with a sigh, taping tinsel to the walls.

~~
Asher came over to look at Matt. "That doesn't sound good. What did you do?" he asked gently, "Maybe I can offer advice. From one idiot to another, you know."

"Nothing really." He remarked dryly, "other then obviously my sister curse with relationships magically passed down to me."

Vestia laughed softly. "It's not a curse, you and Matt are both just extremely inexperienced with relationships. Especially Matt. You both love each other, that's obvious, it's just that you guys don't know how to deal with a long-term commitment like this yet."
"Also Matt's 100% messed up, apparently. That doesn't help."

"I have been in a few before...but being immortal has nasty sideffects." He growled, hitting the punching bag harder.

Matt shot him an odd look, the nodded slowly. "I dunno. He keeps trying to stop me doing things, like don't drink so much, don't hang out with Ellie, don't drink coffee you'll fuck up your liver... And I hate being told what to do and so then I overreact and want to do it MORE just to piss him off and then he gets pissy and it escalates and.. I'm just really bad at this whole relationship thing aren't I?" Matt lowered his head. "He said we had to compromise but I don't think I can. Is it really compromising to just roll over and do as you're told? And can he really argue that i'm prone to overreacting when he's the one who flips out and threatens to break people's legs or hack into the ship's systems over stupid petty jokes" He took a deep breath, yeah he was ranting. "Sorry.. I just. If you love someone are you really supposed to try to change them? I feel like no matter what I do, it's never enough. There's always something else that has to change, something else i'm doing wrong that he can nag me about. I accepted all his weirdness, all his crazy, the punching, the setting fire to things, the violent threats toward my brother. Because I love him, every weird neurosis, every ridiculous overreaction, every ounce of crazy. " He looked frustrated.

"Okay, well maybe Matt's just different from your other partners, then," Vestia said peaceably. "He's kind of like a mule, he's easier to lead with a carrot than a rope. That's how mules are, right? I've never actually met one."

~~
Asher listened to Matt quietly, feeling sorry for him. He hadn't realized how unhealthy Matt and Thalia's relationship was; Matt always did such a good job hiding the fact that he had feelings other than 'happy'.
He thought over his reply carefully, this wasn't a question to be answered in haste.
"I think you're right," he said quietly, "It's not healthy to be in a relationship that is conditional on one person meeting the other's standards; ideally both partners should know who each other are, and accept them the way they are. You have the right to pick your friends, and drink unhealthy beverages if you want to do that. Thalia obviously just wants you to be safe and happy, which is an admirable sentiment, but he’s going about it in the wrong way.”
“Why do you hate being told what to do?” Asher asked curiously, “I remember you were very much against being enslaved. Was that related to this at all?”

Matt stared at the floor. "Penal servitude.. " He rolled up a sleeve to show Asher the tattoo on his wrist. It was a rune, similar to the runes on Kay's shoulder. "I refused to fight so they made me work in a munitions factory for two years. " he rubbed at his wrist, tracing the lines of the tattoo with a finger. "And I know it's not the same thing but.. it's like all that anger and resentment never went away. I hear don't do that and immediately I get my back up, I get on the defensive." He wiped his face on his sleeve. "I know he's just worried about me, but i'm not stupid and i'm not a child. I'm not self destructive no matter what everyone seems to think. I don't want to die. But i've spent my whole life looking after other people, and there's never anyone there to make sure i'm okay. You get so good at hiding it, just smiling and saying yeah i'm fine, because you don't want to saddle everyone else with your shit when they're overloaded with so much awful themselves. " now the tears came. "People always assume i'm just an idiot with a death wish. " He shook his head, sobbing. "I'm not. I just.. I don't want to have to think all the time."

Thaila sighed, "Even a carrot doesnt always work." He paused moving so he would get hit by the swinging bag, he got some water.

Starr stopped and smiled when she saw Ellie and Kay, going in the room and glancing at the decoration they had done already "What is going on?"

Kay smiled softly [Winter festival tradition apparently. ] He wrote, standing on tiptoes to hang a bauble.

Starr tilted her head then looked around again "We didn't have winter on our home world, at least not where we were. We did have celebrations though."

[Didn't have winter? How does that work?] Kay asked, curious about a world without seasons.

Starr shrugged "It was always warm where we lived. I guess we were closer to our sun." She said uncertainly. "It's hard to remember, it has been a long time since I even thought of home."