Good Cop Bad Cop: Chapter One

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One week. Asher has to be mean, Kay has to be nice. Whoever gives up first has to write a story for the winner. Should be... interesting.

Asher smiled softly. "It'll take a more pitiful patient than Luka to make me break. Let's hope the next one is someone nice and sweet and easy to feel sorry for."

[Or maybe by some lucky fluke, the people on this ship will manage not to hurt themselves for a few hours. Wouldn't that be nice?]

Asher pulled out a stack of papers and flicked through them casually. "For your sake, I hope so."

Kay shook his head. Oh you were going to lose Asher, yes.... you were.
He went back to his crossword.

A few hours might pass before the next person arrived...

As time ticked by Kay relaxed a little, maybe they really had stopped being idiots. Maybe... maybe they'd get a nice quiet day...
he barely dared to hope.
But having finished his crossword and any paperwork including updating their restock lists, he was out of stuff to do.
He'd go get lunch at some point, and returned with a cup of tea to sip while tapping a pen idly on the desk.

[I'm convinced this is the calm before the storm.] He told Asher.

Asher smiled cheerfully up at Kay. "Or maybe we'll have no more incidents all week, and have to call this a draw," he suggested.

Kay mused over that. yes, a draw would be satisfactory. Still, he looked uncertain. [I'm not convinced.]

Oh, oh dear.

Unfortunately for the two of them, Merith had overheard Matt's complaints. Matt's rather LOUD complaints. After stitching some ideas together his grin curled over his face. So, what he promptly did to test his theory was gender bend himself, get her reptilian pet to bite her and not let go, and drag herself to the infirmary. The look on her face made it quite clear she was here to mess with the program.

Kay tensed quite visibly at Merith's sudden intrusion, Merith in the med bay was NEVER a good thing.
He shot Asher a panicked look, then tried to settle his expression into some sort of polite smile that looked completely artificial.

[Merith.] He was gritting his teeth. [What happened?]

Asher first noticed the 'pet' biting Merith, then he noticed the fact that Merith was in his--her?--female form. Uh oh, female Merith was never a good sign. He looked nervous too, although he made an effort to hide it.

Kay got to his feet, trying to figure out how you got that... animal to let go. Was there a command? was there some way to distract it? He didn't much want it rampaging around the medical room. Or free to roam the ship.

The creature purred happily while it chewed on Merith's arm, who didn't seem phased in the slightest. "Oh, this happens ALL the time." She cooed, leaning on the reptile a bit and winking flirtatiously at the two. "But he usually gets off by now. Do you think you two could help me~?" She looked at them both endearingly, leaning forward a bit. "I could pay you back with some favors~"

Oh, he was teasing so much for this. Whatever slugging was worth it.

Kay flinched, grit his teeth harder and tried very... very hard not to scowl. [How do we get it to let go?] He wrote carefully, glancing to Asher. Eugh, female Merith, this had to be intentional.

Asher looked at Merith uncomfortably, then at Kay. "Food, maybe?" he asked. He looked a bit reluctant to go any closer to investigate.

"Usually certain foods will get them off," She said cheerfully. "The rarer the meat, the better. Bone in is the best." She suddenly winked again. Was that a sexual innuendo or not?...

[We don't have any food, all we have are blood bags.] He looked uncertainly at the animal, could it even be communicated with? [I take it telling it to stop isn't working yes?] He tried to keep his expression neutral, but he was fairly certain Merith's sole reason for being here was to be annoying and not because he genuinely needed help. Still, maybe he... she? whatever, really needed the help. He kept telling himself to give Merith the benefit of the doubt here, bite back any snide remarks he wanted to make and let Asher play bad cop, which he seemed to think was easy. HAH.

Damn that flirting was sickeningly annoying though. His eye twitched slightly.

Asher tried very hard to ignore any and all innuendos. "Vestia, can you find some steak for Merith's pet?" he asked.

"Sure thing," Vestia said, half stifling a giggle.

Asher tried to get his bad cop act together.

Now even the ship was laughing at them. Grrr.

Kay moved around the desk. [Doesn't that hurt?] He asked, indicating the arm chewing.

"Glad you're enjoying this, Vestia~" Merith raised her eyebrows sloghtly. Oh yes, this was all intentional. "Maybe we could all enjoy something else later, too~"

"What? This?" She looked down at the arm, which was being ravaged by the creature. "Nah, I'm used to pain~"

Vestia snorted. "All of us?"

Asher tried to glare.

Kay twitched. [So am I, doesn't mean I enjoy it.] Damn Merith, this was quite a level of crazy to go to just to be annoying.
He looked back to Asher, come on Asher, be mean, be bitchy, say what he so desperately wanted to! HELP!

Asher saw Kay's look, and tried to imagine all the things he wanted to say. "If you like pain so much, why are you even here?" he asked Merith finally.

Kay lowered his head so neither could see the smirk.

[At least you don't have to worry about infection I suppose. Even so, would you like some pain relief while we attempt to remove your over enthusiastic pet?] Yes, that was good cop right? That was the kind of sappy overly understanding nonsense Asher would come out with. HAH, he was gonna defeat you on this Asher! He would not let... girl... merith.. make him lose this bet.
Damn you Merith.

"Maybe to see if two others would like to dish out some pain themselves. I don't think they like me much, but maybe we can change that if they can vent..." Merith giggled suggestively. That smug look on his face betrayed his obvious intention of sabotaging whatever was going on here. "Don't need to waste any painkillers on me..."

Kay turned away just so he could resist the urge to scowl, oh this was hard, Merith's smug expression made it even more difficult NOT to be grumpy.
He took a deep breath and tried to get his twitch under control.

Come on Vestia, get that meat so they could get this stupid animal off Merith and kick them both out.

Asher shook his head. "Not going to help with your masochism fetish," he said, finally getting his discomfort under control, "Kay's the one who gets to be nice around here, not me. You can ask him to poke your wounds for you or whatever it is you want. Vestia, hurry up with the steak!"

"Geez, chill out," muttered Vestia.