Through the Looking Glass: Chapter Three

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"I don't think either of us have eaten in a while." Prime Sara said, looking at Mirror Sara, who stood. "I-I can go get food..."

Shane shook his head and shrugged "From what I have heard, the Vavare are no where near as nice as ours. Running casinos or something like that."

"Hey casinos isn't that bad. They could be slavers right?" Matt shrugged. "Listen, i'm gonna let you guys like.. have some alone time okay? Be cute, be couply. Ellie, you kiss the shit outta him okay? And tell him if he doesn't come back, we're gonna come find him and kick his ass." He looked to shane "we will, even if you're dead, we'll kick your corpses ass okay?" He smiled. "I'm gonna go see if anyone needs a hand with anything, keep myself busy.. maybe i'll find a mop and see about cleaning up this place because damn man... the grime is getting to me." He stood up.

"Don't wear yourself out man, get some of the androids to help or something. I think Starr told them to listen to us for normal stuff at least" Shane said uncertainly

"Yeah, be nice to yourself. I'll look after Shane," Ellie said, smiling up at Matt. "We love you, man. So don't wear yourself out."

"I'll try, and nah, it'll do me some good. The only reason any cleaning ever gets done back home is because I do it to clear my head." He chuckled. "You guys have fun, lots of ridiculous coupleness, I insist. I'll see ya later" Matt headed off to go do stuff.

--

Kay snuggled into Asher for a bit, fighting down all the anger and frustration and grief. He finally wrote [I'm proud of you, you know that right? ] He shifted to look Asher in the eyes.

Shane chuckled and looked to Ellie then back to his plate to eat some more. Hm, what could they do that was ridiculous coupleness on this Vestia?

"Okay man, and tomorrow the crazy drinking begins!" Ellie put her arm around Shane, but she didn't kiss him because lasagna breath, eeew. "I'm gonna miss you, Cutie. You gotta come back asap, okay?"

~~
Asher looked uncertainly at Kay. "That... means a lot," he said with a shy smile after a moment.

Shane looked to Ellie again and smiled with a nod "Of course, I can't leave you here alone with my double for too long, you might start to call him cutie by mistake" Shane joked

Kay nodded and kissed him softly and uncertainly on the cheek.

--

Matt totally found mops, oh hell yes! He was gonna mop the shit outta stuff! WHOO

"That'd be awkward. Kind of like the time I called my history teacher 'mom' by accident. Oh man, that was so embarrassing," Ellie shook her head. "He is cute, but he's so not you."

~~
Asher shivered at how unfamiliar that sensation was. He smiled shyly at Kay when he pulled away, trying to tell him that no, he wasn't freaking out, it was just his brain being silly again. Sorry about that.

Kay smiled sadly, yeah... this sucked. He rested his head on Asher's shoulder again [Sorry.]

"It's okay, there's nothing to apologize for. It's just so new, my mind just doesn't know how to react," Asher said, voice soft. "This update makes everything very complicated, but that's not either of our faults."

Shane laughed and shook his head a little "You called your history teacher mom?"

[What happens if Mourn can't fix it? ] Kay shifted to look up at Asher worriedly.

Ellie turned slightly pink, giggling. "She told me I needed to start turning in my homework on time, and she sounded so much like my mom, that it just slipped out. And then I ran off super fast claiming that I suddenly needed to use the bathroom, but I actually just hid in one of the stalls for two hours. Good times."

~~
"Then I'll just have to get used to it, I suppose," Asher told Kay, trying to look like that prospect wasn't such a daunting one. "Everyone else has to live with a sense of touch, it would be a challenge, but presumably I could get used to it eventually too."

Shane laughed and hugged her close again. "Sounds interesting. So, what would you lie to do until it's time to go?" He asked curiously

"We can totally go do something stupid and goofy," Ellie said. "When's the last time we made a pillow fort?"

"Um, it's been a while' Shane said quietly then shrugged and smiled "Sounds fun"

"We did do it before once, right? I think I was drunk at the time though, or I dreamed it," Ellie took up her lasagna dish, "Oooh ooh, we can grow bean plants to hold up our pillow fort! I've been studying and I think I might be able to do that once."

Eventually? Great.. This was all so unfair, what had they even DONE to deserve all this? He'd tried to help that ungrateful bastard creator, and in return he'd sent him here and taken everything from him bit by bit. Kay looked away. [None of this is fair. None of it. When does it end? When do any of us just get a chance to be happy? ] He shook his head. [to just be left the hell alone? You shouldn't HAVE to get used to it, we all shouldn't have to just adapt to the shit we keep getting thrown into. We didn't DO anything, yet we keep getting hurt over... and over.. and over again. ] He squeezed his eyes shut. [I think I understand why Matt switches the way he does. There comes a point where you just can't handle any more hurt and anger and it's.. unbearable. ] He shuddered. [I'm scared. I don't... think i have full control of myself anymore.] He drew his hands up to his face, this really was terrifying. It was like before the full moon, amplified by all his hurt and his fear and his grief.

Shane laughed and nodded "Yeah, we did and you were." He said cheerfully and took his own plate to put it to be cleaned so they could go.

Asher looked at Kay's tablet screen miserably. He hadn't meant to make him feel worse! He felt so helpless, watching Kay break down like this, but he couldn't let it break him as well, because he was needed here.
He forced himself to meet Kay's eyes again. "We'll get through this. You'll make it, somehow. I'll make it. Please don't be angry on my behalf." He watched Kay sadly, "I love you. I want you to be okay. Please be okay."
Nothing was really computing any more. He wondered if he was just breaking things more by not being quiet.

~~
"Oh good, I didn't hallucinate," Ellie looked pleased.

Shane chuckled and shook his head "No, you didn't." He said and reached for her hand "Now, let's find some room to have this fort in."

"What are we gonna do if the pillows have fleas in them?" Ellie said suddenly. "Will Inari get mad if you give her buddies fleas?"

"Fleas?" Shane asked and looked at her "Well, then I will have to make sure we don't get any" He said teasingly.

"You have flew repellent magic?" Ellie asked hopefully, "That'd be awesome." She headed for a supply closet in search of pillows, feeling around in the dark for a light switch.

Kay flinched, lowering his hands to look at Asher. He shook his head. [I can't help it. I don't know how to stop it.] He looked desperately at Asher, he loved him so so much, but his head was such a mess right now and he felt utterly overwhelmed. The tears came, streaming down his cheeks. [I need it all to stop, go back to how it was. I need my head to shut up. ] He drew one hand up to rub the bridge of his nose. [Every time I close my eyes I see all the awful, everything i've been powerless to stop. I see you, I see Gier, I see Merith.. I see me.. the other me. A cackling lunatic wearing my skin and I.. can't get it out. Stellan, stellan said to focus on what I did do, but I didn't do enough. I never do enough. Just ask Starr, she has all my memories.. ripped them out of my head. Because I needed that violation on top of everything else didn't I? And now she's uncomfortable? Too damn bad, she didn't live it. I have nothing, it's all been taken from me. She got all my private moments, every little thing that was mine and mine alone isn't any more. And you. even if you come back, things will never be the same. If Mourn can't fix you, you'll never get used to it. You'll grit your teeth and you'll tolerate the discomfort to make me happy but you won't be. ] He shifted away from Asher so they weren't touching any longer. [I love you Asher, so much.. too much. I told you, everyone I love gets hurt. I want to scream, but as you well know, I can't even do that.]