Upon Vestia: Chapter Thirty-Five

First topic message reminder :

"perhaps this is something we should discuss with the telepaths on board, if any wish to volunteer or... have any suggestions for ways to reduce the risk?" Armin suggested, he cuddled Luna just a bit closer.

[I'll look into that video thing. Once your uncle is better.] Huh, uncle.. this was still weird for him. He'd only just got used to Danika being his daughter really.

---

Matt went to find somewhere quiet and private and sent a message to Asher, because he didn't HAVE Lana's contact details.

[Hey Asher. I think it's time I spoke to Lana, if she wants to talk.]

Asher smiled when he got Matt's message, it was nice to see the man in a good enough mental state to ask about his daughter.
After some thought he responded, [All right, that sounds like a good idea. I can go talk to her about it if you want.] He agreed with Matt on this, it was probably better to see how she felt about this before her dad actually sent her a message.

[thank you. Just... make sure you tell her, no pressure okay?] Matt replied.

He was nervous.

----

[Of course. :) ] Asher wrote. He wasn't going to make Lana talk to her dad if she didn't feel like it yet, that would be a good way to make her dislike Matt instead. [Talk to you in a bit.]
He'd pocket his tablet again and go find Lana to ask her about this.

[Alright, I really want to see you again, even if it means waiting for you all to arrive.] Danika sent back. [Do you need to rest or anything? I want you to be healthy when you all get here.]

Kay smiled, such a sweet girl. [No i'm... i'm alright actually. ] That was a blatent lie. Physically he was okay but mentally? not so much. [I'm waiting for news.]

[Alright, good.] Danika sent and smiled softly to the tablet. [Is uncle Esk really alright now? None of this could have been easy on anyone.]

[Starr seems to believe his mind is his own again.] Kay wasn't sure how much he wanted to tell Danika right now, it was all so uncertain and he was pretty freaked out himself about the what ifs. [She knows what she's doing.]

[I didn't mean just that, but the whole being dead and coming back thing. Mom told me she thinks he's free.] Danika wrote back [That can't be easy to deal with]

Kay sighed. Damn this kid, too smart for her own good. [I don't know yet. He's resting. Once he's had a chance to sleep i'll check up on him, whether he likes it or not. I'm hoping he'll complain, loudly about it.] He really was, because that would mean Esk was Esk again.

Danika sighed softly at that and nodded, though he couldn't see her. [Alright, I hope he's alright. Maybe we can have a party or something once we are safely together again.]

[A low key social gathering may be nice] A party sounded a bit overwhelming to him. But then again, Kay didn't much LIKE parties.

---

Armin drank his smoothie and sat with Starr.

Ethan had probably headed off, deciding that Armin and Starr looked like they were fine with each other's company. He wasn't feeling overly sociable at the moment, more just tired. And worried. And really confused why he hadn't been told to drown Esk.

Matt hadn't been exactly right. Ethan didn't need a distraction, he just needed to think. So he'd head off somewhere quiet, and do that.

[Low-key is a party, just for us.] Danika replied [Unless you want to invite all the dragons and the people here, I would rather just us, family and friends.] She clarified.
~~~
Starr was content to eat with Armin. She didn't care about how he ate but she knew it bothered some others.

"Farewell my friend." Armin called politely after Ethan as he left.

---

[I'll mention it to the others, see what they think.] Kay told her. They probably should have some sort of reunion gettogether anyway, how else were they going to do all this?
[how are things there? Is everyone good?]

Starr looked to Armin once they were alone again and tilted her head. "I have a question. You don't have to answer if it's something you don't want to say, but I would like to understand..." She paused and looked away, uncertain. "Why do you take the time to take care of me?"

~~~
[Yes, we are well. As well as we can be anyway. I'm glad Asher and Nova came when they did. They make good parents. It's hard to hide all the magic we use, especially Moone. She's taken to using a false identity to post things about her people and their god/gods. She has a bit of a following from others like her though. A lot of theories floating around now days. Vela was the last of us to pick a shape. She went with an angel, like mom finally. She's really shy, but she could be the strongest of us. Kerr is really into sports, mostly watching them since this is a science center. Lana, I'm not sure how she's really doing. To her you are just stories. It's strange to ave stories become real I guess. Asher went to talk to her.] She shrugged a little then chuckled softly. [I won the science competition for our class. It's hard to remember they can't see like I can. Nova keeps reminding me, but it's so easy to see where space is thin and where the stars are, the shapes they can make. They think I am cheating sometimes, but at the same time, they see only this form.]

Armin blinked. "Because I care for you Miss Starr." He told her honestly. "You are my friend and I am blessed to have one such as yourself count me as such." He looked slightly wary though, worried he may have said the wrong thing or that she was going to tell him to cut it out.

---

[It must be difficult to explain how you see the world to others.] Kay agreed. Somewhat like trying to explain telepathy or shapeshifting to those who could do neither. [I'm relieved you had Asher and Nova with you.] Much as it hurt to be away from Asher, the idea of the kids having Thalia as their only caregiver made him extremely uneasy. Who else could have cared for them? Web? Unlikely. Moone? not fair on her. It really had been lucky in a lot of ways.
[Moone's decided to go activist has she? Taking after Asher?] He joked. He was kinda proud of her, good on her. He didn't know Moone that well to be honest, but it was nice to hear she was doing something that mattered to her.
[So long as she keeps safe]
He felt for Lana, none of this could be easy. He hoped she and Matt could form some sort of relationship from this mess, much as he was nervously hoping things would be okay with Danika and Asher and himself.

Matt got a message back from Asher. A letter? well, sure, he could write letters.
He wrote TERRIBLE letters but he could write letters.

[Alright. I'll do that. ] He replied. And got to work on it while he was thinking about it, otherwise he would just procrastinate.

he got about half way before he got too tired to concentrate. Esk's attack really had taken a lot of out of him even if he was pretending otherwise.
So he went to bed. Leaving the letter half written on his tablet screen.

[Thank you,] Asher wrote back. [Let me know if I can do anything to help.]
He felt like he was supposed to offer help, even though he didn't think he really could help here. Oh well.

(MEGAPOST)

James would keep watch over Esk for a long while, until somebody else, probably Tori, came in to take over. He headed out of Esk’s room, and wandered the halls of Vestia idly for a while, thoughts somewhere far away. Eventually he asked Vestia where Ethan was, and headed to find his brother.

Ethan was sitting in a lounge on some distant floor, looking at nothing as he thought. He tensed at the sound of footsteps and looked up hastily, before gradually relaxing again as he recognized James. “Hey.”

“Hey, man,” James responded. He smiled, although the expression didn’t look quite right. “Mind some company?”

Ethan shook his head. “Go ahead, sit down.”

James sat down on the couch, putting some distance between himself and Ethan, leaning back with a slightly exaggerated sigh.

Ethan’s mouth twitched slightly at that. It amused him that androids in this universe tended to imitate human mannerisms, even though they didn’t actually have a sense of touch. “Long day?”

“You could say that,” James said. He was trying to look casual, but Ethan saw a flash of pain in his eyes.

Ethan nodded, humor fading away. “I heard about what happened. With Esk, I mean.”

James winced a little. “Yeah. Somebody had to hold him and somebody had to monitor him. We couldn’t put Kay through that, and Dawn’s an actual doctor, so...”

“You held him,” Ethan finished, frowning. He knew James was tougher than he acted, that there was something cold and pragmatic in all the androids who had grown up on that space station, but he still hadn’t thought James could do it. Drowning someone wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t pretty. It took strong orders, a sadistic personality, or a lot of resolve. “That sucks.”

“It sucks,” James agreed. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, before looking at Ethan again. “I’m not sure how I did it,” he admitted. “I keep thinking, I shouldn’t have been able to do it. Not when I knew how it might damage his brain, not when I knew it could kill him.”

“You did it because it wasn’t Esk in there any more,” Ethan said. “The demon was in control, all it wanted to do by the end was destroy everything it could.” He remembered how exhausted Matt had been, and the scratches on his wrist. Esk would never have let something like that happen to his own brother, but the demon would do it out of spite.
He met James’s eyes. “Believe me, what you did for Esk was a mercy. Being a slave is horrible, you know that. But being the puppet of a sadistic monster who wants to make you suffer, that’s like living in a nightmare. No matter what the outcome was, as long as the demon ended up gone, it was a step up from where Esk was.”

James shivered, but nodded. “It’s still… really hard to live with though. He was terrified. He was suffering. And I didn’t stop, I just kept holding him under the water. Maybe it was the right thing to do, but it still says something about what sort of a person I am. And I don’t think I like it.”

Ethan contemplated that for a few seconds. “Did you enjoy hurting him though?” he asked finally.

“What? No, of course not,” James said hastily. “I hurt him, but I didn’t like that I hurt him. It was horrible. I wish I hadn’t done it.”

Ethan nodded. “Hold onto that.”

James blinked at him, not sure what he meant.

“it’ll help you,” Ethan said quietly. “If you want to avoid becoming a monster, you have to acknowledge what you did. You have to avoid doing it again in the future, if you can. The pain will help you remember, even if it sucks.” Ethan's own regret for all the pain he’d caused was too distant, too detached. Sometimes it was only the question ‘what would Kaylr want me to do?’ , and his desperate need to fight Kaylr even now that Kaylr was dead, that kept Ethan from hurting people again. At least, that was what he told himself sometimes.
James was different though. He might have a scary, cold side, but it was tempered by his sense of right and wrong, and his ability to care about people. Ethan couldn’t imagine James embracing cruelty, not without a fight.

James considered that for a few minutes. “I think I see what you mean. I guess if I feel shitty about what I did, then that means there’s still hope?”

Ethan nodded again. “Guilt doesn't make you a good person, but it can help push you in the right direction."

“That’s a cheerful thought.”

“A cheerful thought for a cheerful situation.”

They sat in silence for a while.

“Thanks Ethan,” James said finally. “What you said… you’re right.” It did help, kind of. James had wanted some sort of guidance, and he’d sort of gotten it, even if it wasn’t the reassurance that everything would be fine. Maybe comforting lies weren’t what he needed right now, anyway.

Ethan glanced at James, smiling wryly. “Any time.” He hesitated and then said, “James, I have a question.”

“Yeah?” James asked.

“Vestia suggested to me that I might be needed to drown Esk. Since I have experience with that,” Ethan said. “But you did it instead. And I don’t get why you’d put yourself through that, when I was willing to do it. It doesn’t make sense.”

James sighed. “Esk told us not to. He didn’t think it’d be right, not when you’ve been trying so hard to shake off your past. And honestly, he was right. It would have been horrible of us to offload the dirty work on you just because you’ve done it before. We’re better than that.”

“My hands are already dirty though,” Ethan said with a frown. “That’s not a good enough reason to make someone else do it. You could have stayed clear of all this, kept Esk’s suffering off your conscience.” Had it been another gamble by the demon? Maybe she wanted someone else to try to do it, someone who might falter, might stop too soon. That would make sense.

“Esk also thought… it might not be good for you to hurt someone again,” James said reluctantly. “Might uh… trigger something we don’t want to deal with, I think he said.”

That made more sense to Ethan. People caring about his personal beliefs and attempts to change didn’t seem all that plausible, but Esk deciding that making him hurt people might be dangerous, well, that added up.
Regardless of the reason though, he was grateful. He hadn’t been overly eager at the prospect of hurting Esk, he had kept wondering what it was going to be like to do that again. He didn’t think it would have sent him on a murder spree or anything, but he’d wondered if he would enjoy hurting someone again, and the thought had been unsettling.
“Thank you,” he said. “For doing it so I didn’t have to.”

James gave Ethan a sad half smile. “Hey, that’s what family’s all about.”

“Seems like a crappy deal for you,” Ethan said.

“Nobody forced me to do it,” James responded. “It was my decision.”

“I appreciate it,” Ethan said with a nod. “How are Esk and Dawn?” he added.

James looked more glum at that. “Dawn, I don’t know. I haven’t really talked to her lately, but this has to be hard on her. Esk, well, he can barely speak Common currently, and I’m not sure how much better his Satare is. And he keeps having seizures. So that’s not good at all.”

“I guess that’s not a surprise,” Ethan said grimly. “I’d hoped he’d be lucky.”

“Me too.” James shook his head. “God, I don’t know what I’m going to do if he never recovers.”

Ethan looked sympathetic. “We don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s not worth thinking that far into the future yet.”

James sighed. “I guess you’re right. Gotta take this one day at a time or something, that’s what they say, right?”

“Right. I think.”

James nodded. “Mind if I stay here for a while?”

“Not at all.”

The two brothers sat in silence for quite a while, thinking about everything that had happened. It had been an awful day. But for better or worse, they understood each other a little more now.

flying_purple_monkfish wrote:Armin blinked. "Because I care for you Miss Starr." He told her honestly. "You are my friend and I am blessed to have one such as yourself count me as such." He looked slightly wary though, worried he may have said the wrong thing or that she was going to tell him to cut it out.

---

[It must be difficult to explain how you see the world to others.] Kay agreed. Somewhat like trying to explain telepathy or shapeshifting to those who could do neither. [I'm relieved you had Asher and Nova with you.] Much as it hurt to be away from Asher, the idea of the kids having Thalia as their only caregiver made him extremely uneasy. Who else could have cared for them? Web? Unlikely. Moone? not fair on her. It really had been lucky in a lot of ways.
[Moone's decided to go activist has she? Taking after Asher?] He joked. He was kinda proud of her, good on her. He didn't know Moone that well to be honest, but it was nice to  hear she was doing something that mattered to her.
[So long as she keeps safe]
He felt for Lana, none of this could be easy. He hoped she and Matt could form some sort of relationship from this mess, much as he was nervously hoping things would be okay with Danika and Asher and himself.

Starr sighed softly then looked to Armin again and gave him a small smile. "Is that the only reason, friendship?" She asked softly. "I must admit, I have been curious...if we could be more."

~~~
[She does try to, that's why the separate account and all that.] Daika wrote about Moone [How much longer do we have to wait to see one another again?] She asked longingly.

Armin looked a little startled, thankfully a lot of his expression was hidden by his mask. He bowed his head. Stunned. "I..." Oh dear, he didn't know what to say.

"I... I have... told myself over and over that such feelings toward one such as yourself is not appropriate. You are royalty, you are A Star Dragon, you are... you and I am not worthy of you." He looked away, pained. "I adore you Miss Starr, but to love you as I do is surely blasphemous." he couldn't lie to her though, that would be ever worse.

But if she desired him was it more blaspehmous to refuse her? Eugh, he had no idea and he was so confused and torn. He loved this woman, dearly and deeply, but her status as a demigod to his people complicated matters quite thoroughly.

He reached out a hand to her. "You honour me with such a request. Please know, I will do anything for you Miss Starr."

---

[5 days I think? ] Kay wrote back. He wasn't entirely sure. [Soon. We're going as fast as we can I assure you. ]

Starr took the hand he reached out to her, squeezing it gently. "I think you are more than worthy." She said, looking up to him. She would have to take a Vavare form, but it was possible to do so. "I am not sure if I would know what to do, but we could just date for now if that would be easier for you to accept?"

~~~
[5 days? If anyone is going to do that video chat thing, they better get started then.] Danika joked mildly.

[You're right. I'll talk to Mourn.] He was after all the one who knew the most about tech stuff wasn't he? him or Shane, maybe Rigel... Actually Shane was less difficult to deal with than Mourn so maybe he'd ask Shane first.

---

Armin bowed his head. "You flatter me Miss Starr. I am most humbled." He looked at her, understanding exactly what it was she was asking. He nodded. "I can show you, though it may be a little... unusual from your perspective." He laughed lightly. Discussion about Vavare mating habits was something he wasn't so awkward talking about. But perhaps it was better to take things slow, for her sake. Interspecies relationships were always a little strange for everyone involved, even if Starr could take Vavare form.
"Whatever you desire Miss Starr." He bowed his head again. She was the female, she dictated this.

Tala eventually woke up, still feeling kind of bleary. Going on a long trip into someone else's mind had really exhausted her, no doubt about it.

She took a shower and brushed her teeth because she could smell that she needed it, and then ambled off down the hallway, trying to get the stiffness out of her muscles.

~~
Ellie was about, reading some Humanist magazine on her tablet.

~~
James would eventually leave Ethan and head off to get himself fixed up at the android medical room. Esk, or rather the demon, had managed to do a surprising amount of damage, despite not having used a weapon.

~~
Various androids were about, probably most of them gossiping about the demon while they did chores. News traveled fast among androids, yep.

Luka was about, she'd finished the work she had to do on the Devil now and was feeling a bit uneasy about the whole demon situation.
So she went for a jog to clear her head.

---

Ivor was about, with Silence at his side. He didn't want to be alone after the demon scare, whatever he'd seen or heard in Esk's head had spooked him quite thoroughly.

---

Swarm coalesced near James. ---are--- ---you--- ---alright?--- they asked.
They'd been laying low, just watching things unfold for a while now.

---

Matt woke up, sent a letter to Lana, showered, got a letter back from Lana and burst into a huge grin. AHAH! that's why Unity station was familiar!

He found a replacement crutch, he only really needed one these days, hauled himself up and went looking for people, food, drink.. whatever while he waited for further news on Esk.
He was distracting himself.

But at least all this had made him stop moping about himself so.. progress?

----

flying_purple_monkfish wrote:[You're right. I'll talk to Mourn.] He was after all the one who knew the most about tech stuff wasn't he? him or Shane, maybe Rigel... Actually Shane was less difficult to deal with than Mourn so maybe he'd ask Shane first.

---

Armin bowed his head. "You flatter me Miss Starr. I am most humbled." He looked at her, understanding exactly what it was she was asking. He nodded. "I can show you, though it may be a little... unusual from your perspective." He laughed lightly. Discussion about Vavare mating habits was something he wasn't so awkward talking about. But perhaps it was better to take things slow, for her sake. Interspecies relationships were always a little strange for everyone involved, even if Starr could take Vavare form.
"Whatever you desire Miss Starr." He bowed his head again. She was the female, she dictated this.

Danika grinned and nodded [Moone missed Mourn while you were all gone. She wanted to get a pet cat for a while.]

~~~
Starr smiled and dipped her head then looked back to him again. "I have never been on a real date before." She admitted softly.