Upon Vestia: Chapter Twenty-Four

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Dawn chuckled and shook her head a little "I don't need a party." She said softly, chuckling.

~~~
Skye looked to the door then came over to open it "Mourn? What's up?"

"I dunno man, magic glitter sounds like it'd be even harder to get rid of." Matt snickered and arranged the pots of sparkly stuff by size and relative glitteryness.

James laughed. "Aww, but just imagine how shiny Vestia would look. It'd be awesome."

Dawn flinched at his words, though they were true enough. She didn't want to give u that image, but even she could see how far from reality it was. What child didn't want their parent to look at them and say 'I'm proud of you'? Her father wouldn't say that, if he could even look at her. 'Live for herself' the words caught her attention and made her look over to Esk again "I am still trying to find 'myself', that's why I am doing so much studying and projects. I don't know who I am on my own, not yet. With a refresher course, i could take a test to become an engineer this week, I am a certified medic, I helped make a ranch out of a golf course, I grew up a farmer, I am a warrior...maybe that's all I am meant to do, dabble in everything." She said, shaking her head and looking out the window again.
~~~
Skye took the ribbons, sorting them out based on color and what would go better together than not.

Jewel landed on the table to help Matt sort the colors of the glitter, putting the same colors together for him.

Esk stared at her, she'd always struck him as someone who knew what she was doing and had an actual goal in mind. Damn she was bewildering.
He shook his head. "I don't think there's such a thing as 'finding yourself'" He used air quotes. "Just figuring out where you're comfortable. " He watched her carefully, desperately trying to get a read of her. "Do you enjoy all this.. dabbling?" Hey, some people loved learning crap right? Maybe she did.

---

Matt smiled at Jewel. "Wings must make life so much easier." You know, being tiny and all.

James found some glitter glues, and then... oh yes! "Look at these plastic jewels!" he held a packet of them up for inspection. They were very colorful and sparkly.

Matt made suitable ooing and ahhing noises.

Dawn shrugged and glanced to him again "I guess. It's not bad and I do like learning new stuff." She said quietly.

~~~
Jewel nodded and smiled "Yeah, wings are pretty awesome" She agreed then looked to James and grinned, taking off to go over and help put them on the table too.

Skye chuckled "That's wonderful." She said softly.

James smiled at Jewel. "You get final veto power on how to use the jewels, cause you know how," he said. "We can all debate it." He liked this. "Okay, so how big is a medal anyway? My brother has one that's like two inches across, but is that a good size?"

"That's not exactly enthusiastic." Esk reasoned. He pulled his feet off the table and leaned forward a little, watching her. "Dawn, what do you want? Like, deep down, what do you WANT?"

---

Matt glanced at Skye, she was all quiet... more so than usual. He smiled softly and while the others were distracted mouthed "you okay?"

Jewel nodded and smiled "Yeah, two inches is a good size, it is easy enough to wear and big enough to see if it's hung up."

Skye looked to James then shrugged a little "Yeah, I guess. Orel stayed behind"

~~~
Dawn frowned and looked out the window again. "I don't know. I don't know what I want."

James looked up from the jewels at Skye's remark, confused. Oh, Matt must have asked her a question.
"Aww," he said with sympathy. "Guys are the worst, they always make things complicated." Yeah, he was still getting over the Acus thing, maybe he was biased.

Matt frowned. Orel was the hawk guy right? He didn't think he'd actually met him. He reached out a hand to Skye "I'm sorry." He looked genuinely sincere. "you really liked him didn't you?"

---

Esk frowned. "Yeah you do. I mean everyone says they don't know what they want out of life but it's just that they don't want to admit it. Because it's not usually anything much, nothing fancy or impressive. Just... to live, to be happy and safe and blah blah all that crap right?" He waved a hand dismissively, even if what he said was the truth it didn't mean he had to like it either. He thought about it. "I think maybe you just want to belong somewhere. Most everyone does. That's why all these outcasts band together even when they don't get along. they cling to one another, out of desperation maybe, because being alone is worse." He followed Dawn's gaze out to the stars. "You're making a home here Dawn, you don't want to leave not because the food is better or because the beds are more comfortable but because at least here there's a chance to make a start on something worthwhile. There's goals to latch onto, missions to tag along on, a purpose. And we'll probably all die horribly but hey, we'll go down together right? " He sighed. "Or maybe i'm totally wrong. I never could get a good read on you." He admitted. He wasn't sure why he was admitting that, it just didn't seem like something worth lying about. She was bound to have noticed by now.

Skye shrugged and looked away from them at the continued questions. "I did, but it doesn't matter"

Jewel stopped and looked to Skye then tilted her head "He's the one you kissed before the battle"

~~~
Dawn's gaze dropped to her knees at his words. He was right, she was making a home here, she wanted a home, a place to belong, people to be with as a sort of family. "Seems like you have a good enough read on me."

James yelped. "Jewel, you can't just say things like that!" Although dang, that was a juicy piece of information. James tried to not seem interested.

Skye blushed and looked down at her hands then nodded. "I did."

Matt looked sympathetic. "i'm so sorry skye" yeah that sucked.

---

Esk shrugged. Weirdly he didn't feel overly proud of getting it right.

James nodded. Yeah, poor Skye. "I'd yell at him for you, but I don't have his number," he said.

Skye smiled sadly and shrugged "I can't be mad at him though, he stayed for the right reasons. His parents do need him still and there was a major flaw to us being together." Yeah, major flaw was that he didn't like her sister's words.

~~~
Dawn looked to the stars again then sighed. "It's not just 'belonging' though. It's hard to describe. I could have gone back to my planet and still never gone home. Found a place to belong with my own kind without seeing my father. Your friendship, the friendships I have made here, I don't know, they just mean more to me." She knew she wasn't making sense now, so she got quiet again, frowning.

Esk frowned. "you're a weird girl Dawn." he told her flatly. "Still, this place has treated me better than most and this job is probably the least shitty one i've had." He shrugged. "It's not a totally awful place to call home I guess."

---

Matt reached up to pat Skye on the shoulder. "If you need to talk we're here, and if you need a massive huge distraction, we're also here okay?"

Dawn glanced over to him again then gave him a soft smile "No, it's not awful." She agreed.

~~~
"A distraction would be good." Skye said. She didn't want to think of Orel and how he couldn't be with her or all the reasons he couldn't.

"if it was, I wouldn't still be here." Esk reasoned.

---

Matt nodded. "Alright. Wanna help me glue sparkly crap to other sparkly crap?"

James went back to finding stuff and planning the medal shapes.

Dawn smiled then shook her head "Yeah, I know." She said softly then shrugged. "But here we are."

~~
Skye nodded and gave him a smile then looked to the others again. "Yes, this is not supposed to be a fun time, I'm sorry to be a downer."

"You're not a downer," James said. "You're our friend, and we like you." He experimentally cut out a round piece of cardboard.

"Don't worry about it." Matt smiled softly at Skye.

--

Esk lapsed back into silence for a while, then stood up. "I'm gonna get more cake." He declared. Yep, flee from the awkward.

Skye gave them a smile and moved to take a seat to get started on this distraction.

Jewel couldn't use the big scissors, so she sorted the other things, finding some good matches on the ribbon and putting those together for a choice in a moment.

~~~
Dawn looked to him and nodded. "Alright" She wasn't going to stop him or anything, she just wanted to sit and be still for a while now. Space was calming to watch.