Through the Looking Glass: Chapter Five

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"Oh man, you really did get them!" Ellie looked delighted. "Let's see this movie, guys!" She looked at the androids, "One of them threw a potato chip! I'm so proud!"

Asher handed Esk a container of pills. His pockets were always well stocked. He looked at the androids, amused.

James came over and slapped Asher on the shoulder. "Ready to try and sing Satare musicals? It's gonna be sooo impossible!"

Asher made a face.

---Meanwhile, somewhere far away. ---

Mattias stared up at a cold grey ceiling above, felt cold hard floor beneath him and for a moment wondered where the hell he was.
He was dimly aware of voices around him, the sound of someone talking over an intercom, and then everything went black.

---- ------ ------

“Mr Ackermann?” A stern voice roused him from his slumber.
Mattias opened his eyes, groaning as the light hurt his eyes, hissing as movement jarred his injuries.

“Yes, you probably shouldn't move too much.” the voice continued, dimming the lights for him.
The speaker was a middle aged female with striking ebony scaled skin and vividly amber coloured eyes. She tilted her head at him.
“Welcome back Mr Ackermann, we thought we'd lost you there.” She didn't smile.

Mattias grunted and pulled himself into sitting position. “Doctor Webster?” He stared at her in confusion. “What.. what the hell am I doing HERE?”

She snorted. “We were wondering precisely the same thing.” She tucked a pillow behind his back, careful to avoid his gunshot wound. “Take it easy, you lost a lot of blood.”

“How long was I out?” He asked.

“oh only a few hours. Apparently you're remarkably difficult to kill. Made quite a mess on the promenade though. You do make a dramatic entrance.” A male voice this time, a dark skinned, well dressed terran man approached the bed, smiling grimly. “Who'd you piss off this time?” he asked.

“Professor Cobin? Shit, this is a whole big reunion? If i'd have known i'd have bought flowers.” Mattias muttered.

The professor laughed. “As friendly as ever then. Seriously though Matt, why are you here?”

“I don't know. It wasn't intentional.” Mattias snapped. This space station hadn't been his plan, there was nothing useful here except... except Doctor Webster and her excellent medical team. Right... his subconscious must have sent him here in a panic, somewhere safe, somewhere he could get a doctor.

The doctor tapped a taloned hand on a desk, shaking her head and tutting. “You must have been in some serious trouble little one.”

Little one? He hadn't been called that since... well since he was last here, over a decade ago.
He scowled.

“Where's Tias?” he asked bluntly.

“oh... you... didn't know?” the professor shot a glance to the doctor who shook her head.

“He's dead child.” She told him flatly.

“how?” Mattias asked.

“Tried to break up a bar brawl, got himself stabbed a few times. Well, you know he never took much care of himself and it proved just a bit too much for the ol' bastard.” The professor told him, shaking his head. “it's the way he'd have wanted to go, in a blaze of glory and violence though. “ He chuckled darkly.

“So who's heading security now?” Mattias asked warily.

“What do you want with security boy?” The professor asked.

“You SHOULD be resting.” The doctor insisted.

“I need to send a message.” Mattias snapped. “Get me to the coms, I'll rest all your damn well like once that's done.”

The doctor and the professor exchanged glances, and both nodded.

“Fine.” The doctor snapped. “I'll get a chair. No walking, no fighting, and take it easy. “ She looked to the Professor. “Jonathan, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid will you?”

The professor nodded. “Of course I will Yessalia.” He smiled to Mattias “She'll hurt us both if you don't obey her. One message, then we come back here.”

“and then you explain what the hell you're doing back on this station.” The doctor demanded.

“Yeah yeah.” Mattias muttered, easing himself into a wheelchair. “Let's go.”


---Surya-Aditya system--- Planet Kalvair --- A remote mountain village ---

The barren fields of this mountainous community were bustling with activity, people moved to and fro amongst the parched land and wilting crops, working hard despite the waves of heat rippling in the air. Above two suns beat down on the cracked earth, one large and white, dwarfing its smaller twin who burned a dim red.
The air was full of dust, the dark skinned populous wearing scarves around their faces and draped over their curling ram-like horns to keep the dust and the heat at bay.

A little away from the fields and the primitive mud and stone hut village rose a communications tower, all metal and wires reaching high into the grey dust filled sky.
In the shade of the tower a group of youngsters stole a few minutes rest away from the watchful gaze of the guards who watched from their shaded observation decks.

Inside the bleak, featureless building at the foot of the tower sat a man, dark skinned, exhausted looking, he watched a screen bleary eyed.

Suddenly a piece of machinery beside him burst into life, letting out a whining screech as it started to write.

The man jumped, watching the message form and tearing the paper from the machine as it finished. He couldn't read it, it wasn't in a language he knew, but he recognized the runes. Satare, a message for the Ishvara!

He rushed to the door and yelled to the kids resting. “A message! A message! YOU!” He grabbed the nearest kid, a young boy of no more than twelve who tried to struggle away. His friends scattered, abandoning him as they hurried back into the fields.

“You must take this to the Ishvara!” The communications monitor insisted.

The young man stared back, deep purple eyes wide with worry and fear. He shook his head.

“Go!” The communications monitor thrust the paper into the boy's hands. “May Fate smile upon you!”

The boy realised there was no getting out of this. He nodded, bowing his head and taking the paper. “And you.” He replied weakly.

“go! Go!” the monitor ushered him away, returning to his screen as the boy nodded.

The boy ran across the fields, waving the paper above his head and yelling “A message for the Ishvara!”

A guard noticed him, coming down from his observation deck to see what all this fuss was about.

Panting, the boy repeated. “A message... for the Ishvara... “

“Go.” The guard told him.

The boy nodded. Bowed his head in thanks and stepped backwards, disappearing.


---Pitara Tarasthana (Founders Landing)--- Planet Kalvair ---

The old capital of Kalvair, still to this day a bustling trade town, everything they produced would come through here on the way to the underground cities of Kevali.
It was a big, cramped place, a whole city rammed into the narrow confines of a natural canyon.

Carts and people laden with goods moved back and forward, guards patrolled the streets, keeping order and accountants scribbled on their clipboards as they moved from merchant to merchant.

It was a desperate place full of misery and exhaustion. Farmers struggling to make quota argued pitifully with cold accountants, begged for mercy and understanding from people who had none.
The earth was barren, the crops would not grow, the Ishvara cared not for such feeble excuses.

The boy hurried along, past starving desperate people begging for just a sip of precious water, past the guards who protected the barrels of water with stern faces and a hand on the hilt of a blade to strike down any who tried to take it without permission.

Water was strictly controlled here, rationed out like the food only to those who proved themselves worthy. You didn't make quota, you had to make do with what you could squeeze out of the land.

The boy stumbled over the body of a man too exhausted and dehydrated to get up. He mumbled his appologies, and hurried on.
Toward the cliffs that ringed the town.

Two guards stood at the gates, beyond them the inky black cave mouth that was the boy's destination. Beyond that lay Andhakara, the Kevali capital, and the court of the great and terrible Ishvara.

The guards glared down at the dirty, dust covered boy and the scrap of paper he clasped tightly in his fist. “A message... for the Ishvara!” He repeated to them tiredly.

They nodded, searching him for any weapons or anything he could use to cause harm. Finding nothing they waved him through.

Relieved the boy continued his journey, he left the gates of Pitara Tarasthana and approached the cave mouth.

He stood for a moment before it, an enormous gaping mouth in the red rock, black and endless. The air shimmered, not with heat now; for in the shadow of the canyon there was relief from the ferocious suns; but magic. It rippled and pulsated, a gossamer veil stretched across that yawning abyss, a tear in the very fabric of space, a portal.
The boy took a deep breath, held the message tightly, and stepped through.


--- Andhakara'a --- Kevali ----

It was cold, and it was dark. The boy blinked, eyes slowly adjusting to the dim torchlight of the underground city. The cavern he stood in was enormous, stretching away into pitch blackness.
People wandered back and forward, carters with carts or with goods strapped to their backs, children mostly, all pale skinned and sickly looking.
Kevali, subterranean cousins of the Kalvair, their skin ivory white, Horns small and straight, their eyes pale and glowing in the light of their lamps.

The boy tried not to stare, clutching the message closer to himself and heading carefully down the road worn smooth by centuries of footfall.

He headed through the gloom, down tunnels surrounded on all sides by the sounds of picks on stone and wheels on rails. The sounds of mining echoed all around, mingling with the voices of the city proper and a sound in the dark the boy did not recognise till he was nearly on top of it.
Rushing water.

The great river, inky black in the darkness, the light of countless torches glinting on the rippling surface.

The boy gasped, pausing to take in the wonder of all that water, the docks brimming with life and activity as fishermen called to one another, docked and cast off, fought over their stakes.

The boy continued on, following the river and the people till the sounds of the mines faded into the distance and the surroundings became much more solemn and eerily silent. The caves echoed with any sound, but here the predominant sound was that of shuffling feet and purposeful silence. The people who passed were robed figures, their heads bowed. Priests, healers, seers.
He barely dared to breath as he crossed a stone bridge toward the forum.

Two guards stopped him half way across. He held out the letter and found himself unable to speak in more than a whisper which sounded to him even too loud. “A message for the Ishvara.”
Again he was searched, again he was waved through.

Half way across the river, on an island of it's own stood the forum. The walls were built of polished stone, ornate carvings around the large doors.

The boy gulped again, bowed his head, and entered.

Inside a pale woman studied the dark skinned foreigner with barely veiled contempt.

He held the paper in front of himself like a shield.

She took his arm and guided him through the curtains, straight into the presence of the Ishvara himself.

The Ishvara sat upon a throne of gold, a tan skinned man of great height who had to stoop in order to speak to anyone. His long dark hair was drawn back from his hornless brow into a single ornate braid, his vividly green eyes obscured behind thick dark rimmed glasses. He held a sour expression on his angular face, watching the young Kalvair with somber curiosity.

Beside the throne a young boy sat on the hard stone ground, no more than 8, he looked even sicker than the carters had. He was sickeningly thin, his features gaunt and ghoulish despite his youth. His pale glassy eyes were sunken and dull, but he fixed the messenger with a steady, intent gaze.

The messenger shivered in fear, bowing his head graciously to the Ishvara and trying not to let his trembling legs go out from under him.
He couldn't help but notice the ash on the floor. Previous messengers perhaps?

“Why are you here child?” The Ishvara asked, his voice deceptively soft.

“I... I have a message for you.. from.. from the communications tower.” The boy blurted out, wincing a little as the echo repeated it back to him.

The Ishvara held out a hand. “Let me see.”

The woman pushed the poor messenger toward his Lord, he took a few shaky steps, holding out the paper for the tall man to take.

The Ishvara took the paper in one hand, the other wrapping tightly around the boy's wrist to stop him escaping.

“let's see what was so important shall we?” He spoke, reading the note carefully.

The boy gulped, shivering in terror as he silently prayed to any gods that were listening to let him live through this.
Let it be good news, because if it was bad, he'd face the Ishvara's temper.

The Ishvara's face slowly broke into a smirk, then a wide grin. “Oh... well this IS interesting.. “ He let the boy go.

The messenger stumbled backwards and scurried across the room, trying to put some distance between himself and the Ishvara as he stood.

“What is it my Lord?” The woman asked.

“My brother.” The Ishvara smiled serenely, sweeping his long robes behind himself as he stepped away from his throne. “He has finally decided to finish this little.. dispute once and for all.”

The sickly looking child looked up at him warily but said nothing.

The messenger sensibly remained quiet.

“It would seem I have a long overdue family reunion to attend.” The Ishvara laughed.

“I shall gather the guard...” The woman bowed her head.

“no.” the Ishvara raised a hand to stop her. “This is a private matter. Keep the miners digging, we are so close to our goal, I just KNOW it. I will deal with my brother. In the meantime... “ He looked to the messenger. “See to it his family get another day's water. “

The messenger bowed his head gratefully. “My Lord, you are generous and wise...” he began.

The Ishvara made a face and shushed him. “Don't talk, you'll spoil it. Go.. go on... get... go home, before I change my mind.” He shooed him. “GET OUT!” His voice echoed boomingly around the room.

The messenger bowed again and hastened back out onto the bridge, not quite believing his luck. He was alive, and better than that, he'd earned his family water!
He sent a quick grateful prayer to the gods, and hurried back toward the portal and home, before the Ishvara could change his mind and incinerate him where he stood.

----------

Asher hadn't exactly been avoiding Kay over the past few days, he had only been sort of uncomfortably staying out of Kay's way because after the Vestia incident, he just hadn't felt right, and it was messing with his brain a bit. Of course he couldn't avoid Kay completely because that would be cruel when Kay was already isolating himself from pretty much everybody else, so they had been taklking, just not as much as usual.
There was basically nothing left to do at this point. Almost everyone had been moved, and the last few shuttle loads of people were being handled just fine.
Also nobody was injured, and there was no more important planning stuff to do.
Which meant Asher should probably go find Kay, even if his own demons were still gnawing away at his mind.
So he went to find Kay.

Kay hadn't wanted to hang around the lab with everyone, particularly not that guard who kept looking at him like he expected he'd stab him in the leg or something. Eugh.
He idly considered he should hope that Captain Shane would go easy on the two guards but he couldn't quite summon the energy to actually care either way.

He'd gone back to his sudoku puzzles, in a nice quiet room somewhere.

He looked up from the tablet when Asher appeared and nodded a vague greeting. Yeah things were weird right now weren't they? He didn't need to be able to read Asher's mind to know things were weird.

Asher smiled at Kay, although the smile didn't quite seem to work right on his face. You'd think being a robot would make acting easy, but it never did. The responses were all too deeply linked to emotion to let him fake other emotions easily.
"Mind if I join you?" he asked softly.

Kay shrugged and patted the seat next to him, closing the game and booting up the notepad.

[What's going on?] He asked

His first instinct was to say 'I'm fine', but he realized immediately that that would be a waste of both their times, as well as being the most unconvincing lie he'd ever told. Asher sat down with a sigh. "It's complicated," he said wearily. "What I threatened Vestia with, how you're still not leaving me, there's just something about it all that I can't quite shake out of my mind."

Kay looked at Asher and shook his head. [Asher, if driving me away was your intention there are easier ways to break up with someone.] He tried to smile but couldn't quite bring himself to. [Listen, we all have moments of madness where we say or do awful things. We all have lapses of judgement. Asher, you had a moment but you came back from it, you could be talked down, which means there's still good in you. If you genuinely wanted to hurt someone, there's very little I could actually do to stop you and you know that. You're stronger than me and i'm far more breakable and much as I would like to claim I know you never would, that simply isn't true. But until I think that you're completely lost, i'm not going anywhere. I love you Asher, flaws and all. One error of judgement isn't going to change the way I feel about you. I know you're at least trying to be a good person, and isn't that what really counts?] He gazed into Asher's eyes earnestly.

"But it's never one error in judgement with me, it's so many of them," Asher said quietly. "Sometimes I do the right thing, and I always mean well, but I still make so many bad choices." He looked at the ground, adding even more quietly, "You want to keep me from becoming a terrible person, which is admitrable. But at what point will you not be here because you love me, but because you feel obligated to try and stay so you can hold me back?" He forced himself to look at Kay again, "I don't want to be a burden."

Kay shook his head. [If we can defend Merith for all he's done, if I can stand by my brothers despite the terrible things they do, then I can stand by you. We've both made awful mistakes over and over in our time.] He looked sad, averting his gaze at that. [And will both probably continue to do so, but at least we're both trying to be better people right? If Merith can change, why can't you? ] He patted Asher's arm gently. [I'm not good at this, comforting people who are wracked with guilt. But Asher? I assure you, the moment you become a burden, i'll tell you. I'm pretty sure we've already had this conversation with the roles reverse. You told me then that guilt meant I was learning from my mistakes. I know it doesn't make the hurt any less or the feeling of failure stop, but believe me when i tell you that I stay with you not out of obligation or some fear of being alone, but because I want to be with you. Most of the time Asher, you ARE a good person and you DO do the right thing. Most of the time, you're a good kind sweet man. most of the time, I feel safe and happy in your presence. I'm not about to pretend like we won't both find ways to hurt one another, because we both seem to be pretty damn good at that sort of thing, but I do like to believe that the man sitting here with me right now is an inherently good man. I don't want you to lose yourself, and I don't want to lose you either. And so i'll keep pulling you back, for you, for me, till either you don't need me to do so any more, or you become impossible to stop. Either way, I don't want to give up on the man I love alright? But don't for a minute think i'm going to put up with your shit without a fight okay?] He looked stern.

"In Merith's case, he changed his ways lifetimes ago. We don't stay with him hoping that he can change, we stay because he already did. Maybe I will someday, but it's not certain at all," Asher said. "Please, if you ever find yourself just tolerating me, staying with me only for the sake of the greater good, tell me. No matter how much it hurts, it's better to know."
He shook his head unhappily, "I sound so paranoid. I'm sorry, I'm not sure why this is messing with me so much."

Kay frowned at Asher. [Because you actually do care?] He smiled sadly. [So long as you still care enough to be upset like this, I know you're not a lost cause. And don't worry about me Asher, when have you ever known me to be patient or tolerant?] His smile broadened a little and he reached out to stroke Asher's cheek tenderly. Okay maybe he was willing to give Asher a little more leeway than he would most people, but was that a bad thing?
Did he care?
Honestly, those moments of safe cozy happiness vastly outweighed Asher's brief fleeting moments of madness. For now anyway. Could they just go back to that?

"Yeah." Asher closed his eyes for a moment, "I do care. I just wish caring didn't come with so much paranoia."
Asher laughed weakly, somewhat reassured by that remark. No, Kay had never been the sort of person who just sat around and tolerated things, had he? He clung to that thought, trying to let it push the anxiety out of his mind.
Kay was sensible and impatient, he reassured himself. And although Asher was prone to making terrible judgement calls that he looked back on with disgust later, he was learning. And robots learned fast, right?
Well, he certainly hoped he'd learn fast.

Kay nodded. [Believe me if i'd have figured out a way to turn off the guilt, paranoia and hurt, i'd have done the same for myself years ago.] He tilted his head. No, he couldn't really deal with all this, it was stressful and depressing. He rested his head on Asher's shoulder instead and wrote [You know what helps? Distractions. If you stop and let yourself think it catches up with you. So stop thinking. ] He shot him a stern look, keeping his head on his shoulder.

Asher put his arm around Kay and smiled softly at him. "You're a very wise man."
Distractions, hmm. That really was a good idea.
He adjusted his sensory information mode for the first time since the switch had been installed, and let the feeling of fabric and weight and temperature wash over him, pushing his worries to the background at least for the moment as his mind tried to readjust.
Distractions were good.

Oblivious to Asher's sensory input, Kay snuggled into Asher and reached up to touch the hand around his shoulders. See this was nice, much nicer than angsting about things they couldn't fix. Nope, Kay had had quite enough thinking and feeling crappy, he didn't want to do it any more. It was bloody exhausting.

Asher realized he should probably have mentioned to Kay what he had just done. Oops.
He did a good job not flinching or anything, but he wasn't able to completely prevent himself from tensing up. "I turned on my sense of touch," he explained with a soft smile, not wanting Kay to assume that his was acting weird again. "Don't worry about it, it's good for getting my thoughts to slow down."

Kay frowned a little, then nodded. It made about as much sense as his desire to be in pain because it was distracting right? actually Asher's was less self destructive. Bah.
[We shouldn't make a habit of this not thinking thing, I doubt it's healthy.] He mused. But for now? He tentatively reached up to run a hand through Asher's hair.

"Well we can work our way up to thinking about things. It doesn't have to be all at once, does it?" Asher asked, leaning into Kay's touch a bit and enjoying the way it took over his system resources. Oh yes, it was nice to see his sense of touch taking over his RAM and processes, hogging them so his thoughts were forced to slow down and prioritize themselves in a way he found more tolerable. Thanks, Kaylr, you actually did something useful while you were torturing us all.

Kay nodded, yes that was a good idea. He shifted so he was facing Asher and set the tablet aside so he had both hands free. He twined the fingers of one hand through Asher's short hair gently, and ran the other hand down Asher's neck, watching his reaction and relishing in the way he leaned into his touch.

Asher shivered a little bit at Kay's touch on his neck because it was still so unfamiliar, but the programming helpfully provided him with a lot of very enjoyable emotional feedback, and he moved a bit closer.

Kay watched him, this was all pretty weird for him as well but extremely gratifying. He moved closer so they were practically face to face, running a finger along his jaw oh so softly.

Asher hesitated, looking into Kay's eyes and thinking a very confusing set of thoughts that were about half his own, and half helpfully supplied by the programming, then gently pulled Kay into a kiss.

Kay sank into the kiss gratefully, his grip on Asher tightening slightly as he moved both hands to cradle Asher's head.

They'd totally make out for a while in this random room. And hopefully Asher would sensibly ignore all the confusing feelings he was having right now. And hopefully nothing would interrupt them, because this was a distraction, and distractions were very important.

--an hour or so later--

He had it confirmed, Vestia was indeed last spotted heading toward the Sol system.
Gleefully the Ishvara let Fate guide him.

Vestia's cameras would pick up an eerily familiar figure dressed in sweeping black robes as he appeared out of nowhere and merrily walked down one of the hallways of the 37th floor.
He trailed one hand along the wall and smiled up at the cameras, raising his other hand to touch the lens.

The camera feed would waver, then cut off suddenly in that hallway.

"Mattias is back," Vestia broadcast to everyone. At least, she assumed it was Mattias. It had to be him, right? Who else could it be?

Matt swore under his breath and got up. why they hell was he back?
"Where is he?" He asked.

--

Esk cocked his gun. Well, someone back for more? Was he just a crazy glutton for punishment or what?

---

Kay pulled away from Asher, frowning at the news. Well he didn't want to go chasing his brother's evil double around the ship. That sounded like a terrible idea! He reached for the tablet. [What is he doing?]

---

Luka checked her weaponry and remained in the lab. Unless he started to cause trouble up here, she'd leave this to people who knew how to handle crazy magic users.