Vestia's Diary

If you've read this far, you've already read too far. Get out of my diary, you creep!

~ Vestia

((This diary is entirely non-canon, and should be read as a humorous take on canon events, and nothing more. Also, it may include fanfic about various characters, which should also be taken as humorous and 100% non-canon as well. Only characters whose owners have given permission will be fanfic'ed about.

Vestia probably doesn't actually do this.))

Dear Diary,

There are so many things a smartship like me can't talk about. I see all these people running about on my decks, leading their angry, depressed, lust-filled lives, and I can't vent about it to anyone. Cruise ships are supposed to be dignified and polite, with complete respect for their passengers' right to confidentiality. I get that, I really do.

But OH MY GOSH, the drama I witness every day is INSANE.

Like, okay, take the medics for example. They had this bizarre thing for months, where the Hexenfolke hybrid (I'm not naming him, to keep his identity anonymous. From now on, we'll call him K) was totally in love with the android. Like, blushing, awkwardness, all that stupid stuff. And then the android started totally liking him too! No blushing obviously, but totally a sappy idiot when he was nearby. "It's fun to spend time with you", HA! JUST KISS ALREADY!

And they totally confessed their feelings for each other after the android unplugged my cameras, so I couldn't watch. And never plugged my cameras back in. I'm still mad about that, because WHAT DID THEY DO?

Here's how I imagine it went.

~~~

Asher yanked out the beautiful ship’s camera feeds, feeling a stab of shame at the thought that he was ruining her chance to see this moment forever. He knew Kay would never forgive him if she saw though, so he betrayed her. As usual. He was such a traitor, he still is. Arghhhh.

Kay looked up at Asher hopefully, his ruby orbs wide, graceful hands scintillating across the screen as he wrote. [Asher… What you said out there, was it true?]

“Yes,” murmured Asher. His voice resonated a bit like Merith’s, only it was softer, like flutes in the distance on a warm summer night.

[YOU’RE LYING! YOU’RE A ROBOT!] Kay scrawled angrily. [DON’T TOY WITH ME.]

Asher’s opal gaze welled with dew, blurring Kay’s cuttingly sharp words into soft streaks of silver down the computer’s screen. He hated being a robot, stuck in this unfeeling body of hardness and cold, forever hated for being something he had never asked to be. He reached up to wipe his eyes, and looked at his fingers in confusion. “What’s happening?” he interrogated, looking at Kay with the innocent fright of a doe being hunted by hounds.

[You’re-you’re crying] Kay stuttered. No robot could shed tears like a living creature, he knew that as certainly as he knew Asher would never accept his demonic, horrific true form, with its leathery hide and loathsome face. Did that mean…

“I can’t cry,” Asher asserted vehemently. “If I could, then I wouldn’t be an android any more.”

The shorter male moved closer, graceful wings agitating melodically. He investigated Asher’s tears with a graceful digits, and trembled as tears forced their way to the surface like a tidal wave of hopes and dreams. [Then Asher, you’re not an android. You’re alive, and human, and that makes you perfect…]

Asher looked at Kay with a spark in the darkness of his lonely world, and barely breathed his desperate response, “It’s a miracle.”

Kay bounded at him, wings flapping with unsuppressable jubilation, and tackled him with a kiss that brought the universe to its knees as galaxies collided in a kaleidoscope of shining fireworks. And for the first time Asher was truly alive, and he felt for once the feelings that everyone had spoken of, for this was a real kiss, and he was a real human, and finally everything was perfect, and he knew he could stay with Kay forever, and not worry about all the things he had worried about before.

THE END

Dear Diary,

I feel like maybe K and the android's identities have become somewhat obvious, thanks to the speculative fiction I wrote yesterday, because I kind of accidentally used their names. Oops?

I guess I'll just say it now: K is Kay, and the android is Asher. Surprise!

Anyway, I wanna rant about something other than the idiot medics now. Specifically the really gory murder that Heny committed a couple months ago in Rec Room Four. You know, the one where Sulon got herself carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey? And a ton of people watched, including accidentally me?

Well I've been sending in my bots every day to try and clean the feeling of filth from my walls and floor, for about three months now. And you know what I found today? Dried blood on a table leg. DRIED BLOOD. AFTER ALL THESE MONTHS. THANKS FOR MURDERING SOMEONE IN THE REC ROOM, HENY. Couldn't you have at least done it in the med bay, which is designed to be EASILY STERILIZED?

But noooo, she had to do it in the REC ROOM. WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HURT PEOPLE IN THE REC ROOMS, where the furniture is made of wood and NOT EASY TO CLEAN? GAHHHHH.

I need a drink, dear Diary, I need a very stiff drink.

Dear Diary,

We arrived at the Guild today, and I found out some of the ships here have--had, now--space leeches. Space leeches. Supposedly the ships have been cured, but if I find myself infested with those things, I'm diving straight into a sun, and not giving a damn about the consequences. I will NOT be consumed by leeches!

Some nice guys came and gave me a proper pressure wash, got all the grime and contaminants off my hull so now I look as pretty as a flower. I saw a bit of myself in the other universe when James was playing his memories for Swarm, and I wanted to make sure I never look like that. I had someone show me myself in a mirror. You can still kind of see where Matthew stuck that stupid collar on me, but it doesn't look too bad. I guess I shouldn't worry about it.

Gah. I wanted to write some speculative fiction about the other universe, but James already told us what happened. Two versions of the story! So how can I write about that?

Let's see... what else... Ellie marked her calendar in May with one happy face emoji. I honestly don't dare ask what that means.

Vestia

((Please forgive me, Fish. Please forgive me, characters whose defining traits I just brutally butchered. This one is really bad.))

The umber and garnet leaves blushed over the cobalt glazed heavens, and underneath it all a lone figure sat on a park bench. He looked at the loam under his boots and sobbed.

I'm so alone, the brown haired man thought to himself brokenly, All my life I've been hurt and bullied and beaten, nobody loves me. Nobody will ever love me. Am I even worth loving? No, I can't be. I'm too scared to even be hugged!

~~
On Vestia, the tall, golden man walked alone. His skin glistened like drops of honey, and his dark locks shone like raven wings. In his smoldering gilt gaze, endless pain shone.

In my fingers lies death, making it so I can never feel close to anyone, he thought. My touch is like poison, not just for them, but a deeper poison that clings to my very soul. I can never love anyone, and they'll never love me, I'm just not good enough!

Tears welled in his orbs and he tried to rub them away, but they boiled up again and again until he couldn't see the ship at all. He ran to get away from the ship and the pain, and ran into the countryside quickly, still not able to see and hoping fate would lead him to something that could help him to be whole at last.

As he ran, he heard the sound of someone sobbing, voice soft and broken like a beautiful sad choir that knew the deepest loss in the universe. He wiped his oculi again and searched quickly for the creator of such a resonant utterance, he knew instinctively that such a person would understand his pain and that together they could find at last some solace.

There he was on the park bench, looking into the distance with nothing but the deepest pain in his silver orbs, and hunching in his midnight black jacket.

Esk knew that man the moment he saw him, and everything made sense. It was Ethan, the one who had been tortured by the red demon for so many years. Of course, he was alone and scared and not ever able to be pulled into the comfort of an embrace. Esk's heart sang with that man's pain, because he knew it just as well. Neither of them could be touched, ever. They were so alone and isolated. It was misery.

“What’s wrong?” Esk questioned, as though the truth wasn’t already written in the steady thunder of his heart.

Haunted orbs met honey as the smaller man sought his gaze, trembling like a glass wall about to crumble away. “It’s nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.”

The tall man sat down beside him on the bench and waited a few minutes before replying. “I’ve spent my whole life alone,” he sighed, “Nobody can ever touch me because if they do, my curse destroys them.” Tears welled in his orbs and one rolled down his cheek, perfect and clear like a crystal.

“I want to be held,” Ethan murmured, looking up at Esk with complete understanding, “I want someone to love me. But when they hold me they hurt me, and I don’t want to be hurt again.” He looked at the ground through silver orbs, losing himself into the mist of pain that seemed to follow him through all his hopes.

“I hurt everyone I touch,” Esk whispered back, “I’ve been alone all my life because they all die when I hold them and I can’t bear to see them hurt, and I feel so lonely. But there’s one person I can never hurt. One person who’s safe from me forever.”

Ethan’s silver gaze flickered up to meet Esk’s. His lips parted in a gasp. “What do you mean?”

“You’re an android, you can’t be hurt by my magic,” Esk whispered. He reached out his digits to caress the smaller man’s cheek.

Ethan trembled like a startled deer, but stayed where he was. Esk’s hands felt so warm and safe, and he thought to himself, maybe it could be different this time. Maybe he could be happy for once. Maybe he wasn’t too broken to be loved! “You wouldn’t hit me?” he queried.

“Never. My magic is a curse, but you’re immune to it. This was meant to be,” Esk affirmed.

Ethan leaned forward and buried himself in the safety of Esk’s arms. And everything was perfect, and he knew immediately that they could be whole together.

THE END

Ahahahahaha Esk is bristling with rage at this, and I can't stop laughing.