Upon Vestia: Chapter TWENTY

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Heny stood there and listened as the two spoke, her heart beat rising. She had visited him a couple of times but found it too painful with eveything going on.

"True enough. I think that would make anyone learn to scowl pretty terribly," Ethan agreed. "It was strange to meet Web, he really does look like you, mostly, but the expressions seem different. Not that I've spent a lot of time around either of you, but he seems to use his face differently," he added.

Matt nodded. "Creepy right? " He grinned. "We used to be waaaay more alike back when I had my hair long too. But he's always been much more serious and all like... greater good, the needs of the many blah blah blah." He made a face.

Ethan smiled oddly. "I guess if anything's going to make people look different, it'll be that. The greater good does funny things to people." He lead the way into the playroom, which was empty of children. "The children must all be sleeping still after last night," Ethan said disapprovingly. He peered into a toy chest.

"You could make lost book fliers..." Matt suggested cheerfully.

"Might be a good idea," Ethan agreed. "Can't offer reward money though, or people will get in the habit of stealing." He closed the toy chest, all that was in there were stuffed animals, bah.

Matt shrugged. "They probably are either doing it out of spite, or didn't realise they hadn't returned them. Hey... " Matt brightened. "Vestia? Do you know who has the missing books?"

"I'd have to do a lot of footage searching to find all the books, it's hard to keep track," Vestia said. "Besides, it keeps Ethan entertained."

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Vestia."

Vestia snickered.

"You see what I have to deal with," Ethan said to Matt in a tone that was half amused, half long suffering.

Matt laughed. "She does it to me too, don't worry." He grinned up at Vestia's camera. "We still love you."

"I guess this means she either likes us, or she hates us," Ethan mused. "I think I will put up wanted posters for the missing books," he decided.

"She loves us, otherwise she'd have totally purged the atmosphere already." Matt laughed. "Need help? I mean i'm crap at making posters but I can help put them up. I'm good at that!"

Ethan smirked. "Good point. If she hated us, we wouldn't be here by now. Sure, let's go to the library so we can use the printer. Saves time over hand writing them."

Matt nodded. "You know the titles?" Of course he knew the damn titles right? Ethan was like.. Mr Librarian.

"I know the titles, I just need help with the message, to make it more appealing to the masses," Ethan said. He paused a moment before saying more quietly, "I'd like to ask you something."
Weirdly polite for the guy, normally he didn't think of asking permission to ask questions.

Matt frowned a little, looking serious for a moment. "Uh.. sure? What's up?"

Ethan watched Matt's face carefully. “What do you think of this universe's Kay?” he asked, voice still quiet. Matt was one of the people who had known Kay the longest. If Kay was abusive here, Ethan didn’t for one moment believe Matt would admit it, because many abusers were great at keeping their victims quiet. But Ethan had seen the look of hopelessness in the eyes of Kaylr’s victims hundreds of times, and if he saw it here, he might recognize it. Or, you know, Matt’s answer might be reassuringly normal. Hmm.

Matt blinked. "Uh... " Wow, what a question. "well, he's my brother so i'm probably totally biased, uh.... he's a bit annoying, takes himself a lot too seriously but he means well. Despite what Esk might say, I really do think he cares about other people. " Matt shrugged. "And he's not always totally grumpy, he just... isn't always comfortable enough with people to let his guard down I guess. " He chuckled weakly. "He puts up with all my shit so he must be pretty tolerant. " He looked serious, he may not have had much first hand interaction with that other Kay but he knew enough of what a psycho he'd been to understand Ethan's wariness. Heck, hadn't many of them been wary of Ethan at first?
"He's not a monster like the other universe Ethan, I know that deep down, even at his worst he'd never intentionally hurt someone. Well he might throw something at you but that's about the extent of it and you gotta really really piss him off and then he'll immediately go into medic mode and yeah... mostly he just glares and lectures. I mean, for all his flaws, I love my brother and I trust him completely. " He looked away. "I know the whole mirror universe messed him up, he's absolutely terrified he'll become like that other him but... we aren't them, just like you aren't Asher right? Web's not a monster, Kay's not psychotic, Esk's not... whatever the hell was going on with his other self... and i'm not a complete prick like that other me. " His expression hardened. "We'll never become them, I promise you that. "

Well Ethan had never been great at reading people, but he didn't see anything in Matt's reaction that seemed suspicious. It all sounded like an honest opinion, albeit a startled one, which was to be expected when you sprang a question like that on someone. Which was, well, reassuring at least.
He nodded at Matt's words. "It's pretty clear we're all different here," he agreed. "The question is always, how different are we? Obviously Kay isn't certifiably crazy here, Starr isn't a soulless scientist, and Asher isn't, well, whatever I am. But at the same time, there are similarities. Asher and I both try to be logical and fail as often as not, Starr is still intelligent and loves her knowledge. And Kay? Hell if I can tell with him, I'm always second guessing myself."
He looked away from Matt, it felt weird to stare a guy in the face for too long. "I ran into him yesterday when he was coming back from the city. He looked like he wanted to kill someone, so of course my damned brain went on autopilot. All I had to do was walk away, but I couldn't. He got pissed, I got pissed, he got so close he could have reached out and touched me. And on one hand it was terrifying, but on the other hand, that was him without his inhibitions. He had nearly zero self control, and he didn't laugh at how scared I was. He didn't look pleased to see me trying to hold myself together. He just looked frustrated, and horrified."

Matt looked grim. "I'm sorry you had to see him like that. He's really not himself when the whole... wolf thing takes over. I mean, he tries, but it's like... everything gets amplified. Tiny frustrations become huge." He shook his head. "He's so scared he'll hurt someone in that state, heck, we all are. It's why he tries to avoid people, he knows he hasn't got much control and honestly, he's beyond moody under the influence of the full moon. I can't imagine how much control it must take for him to reign it in. But that's not him, it's the infection." He sighed, remembering Thalia's description of Kay in that state, and his own experiences with it. "When it comes to comparing ourselves to our mirror versions, I don't think that's healthy. I think it's better to focus on how we're different."

Ethan nodded. "And that's the thing. If that had been Kaylr drugged up on werewolf virus and the full moon, he would have had the time of his life scaring me stupid. Kaylr loved seeing how much control he had over people, it was one of his favorite things. But Kay didn't enjoy scaring me. He didn't like how panicked I was, he wanted it to stop." He looked at Matt again, "Lycanthropy weakens a person's self control. If Kay had been a sadistic monster, he couldn't have hidden it well, if at all. So that's more evidence that Kay's not a sadist, then." The odd smile crept back onto his face, "I guess some good came of that unfortunate encounter after all."

Matt smiled back. "that's a really positive way of looking at it man." He looked reassuring. "I've known him most my life and I can safely say he's not a sadist. I mean, no way could you hide that level of crazy right? I've never seen him take pleasure in hurting other people, if anything he has a tendency to blame himself for everything and angst about it instead. You don't have to fear him man, he's about as threatening as a damp towel, and usually about as fun." He snickered.

"I guess you'd know better than most people would what he's made of, since you've known him such a long time," Ethan agreed.
Matt really didn't look like he was hiding any dark, haunting secrets about Kay. None of the people who spent a lot of time around Kay seemed to distrust him really, even Esk who was pretty vocal about his dislike for the guy, didn't actually seem to fear him. Ethan might have a lot of bad memories and old instincts that screamed otherwise, but the truth was, those were all from an entirely different situation in an entirely different universe, and didn't have much place here.
Still smiling a tiny bit he added, "Thanks. It's useful to hear your opinion. I've heard it said that knowledge is the best way to fight fear, and I'm definitely starting to believe that's true." He started leading the way down the hall again, "Come on, let's make those posters."

Matt nodded. "Listen man, I know you went through a lot back there but.. this isn't that place. It can't be easy adjusting to the idea that we're not all pieces of shit like we were back there but you're doing great. Don't like.. force yourself okay? It'll take time to get used to this place. " He clapped his hands together. "Yes, posters!"

Ethan nodded. "Who knows how long it's going to get used to being here, maybe I never will. You're probably right about not pushing it too much, it's not like it'd magically fix my brain overnight."
"Hmm, do you think making the posters threatening would scare the book thieves away instead of convincing them to return the books?"

Matt shrugged. "No idea man, i've never made lost book posters." Yay diverting subjects. "Maybe... some like.. polite ones to put in the areas the kids will be and some more aggressive ones for the adult areas?" He laughed. "if nothing else it'll get people's attention right? "

"The adults can get posters that say, 'bring one of these books to the library immediately, or have your library privileges revoked', or is that too on the nose?" Ethan's mouth twitched a bit, the idea of being a draconian librarian amused him.

"Noo, not library privilages!" Matt feigned horror. "you cruel man." He snickered. "Nah that totally works."

"We may end up with duplicate copies of some of the books if people think their library accounts are at stake," Ethan said thoughtfully, "Since people might buy copies at the Guild to hand over. Still, should scare people into bringing the books back, hopefully including the original copies." The reached the library and he opened the door for Matt to go in first, "The kids can get cute posters with superheroes on them. I wonder if Captain Good Deed is a superhero in this universe..."