Vestia's Wanderings
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Upon Vestia: Chapter Thirty-Four

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Upon Vestia: Chapter Thirty-Four - Page 2 Empty Upon Vestia: Chapter Thirty-Four

Post by Starrnico Fri Dec 28, 2018 7:08 pm

First topic message reminder :

"We could stay here and see if Vestia can start getting some movies on file for us." Shane said with a shrug.
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Post by Kooshie Sat Dec 29, 2018 5:46 pm

"We should probably give him space I guess," Ellie said thoughtfully. "But like, not too much space." She looked thoughtful. "It's too bad he's allergic to basically everything, cause I always bought my friends ice cream when they had breakups. It's a good food to eat while you're miserable."

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Post by Starrnico Sat Dec 29, 2018 6:09 pm

Shane smiled softly "Yeah, so I've heard. Maybe we could think of something to do for him."

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Post by Kooshie Sat Dec 29, 2018 6:33 pm

"We could talk him into watching our movie marathon with us," Ellie suggested. "I'd say throw a party, but I think we've all decided parties are cursed now, and it's too soon after the bad news anyway."
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 6:28 am

Matt hesitated, winced and looked away. "I'm in no state to do that."

"my friend..." Armin began, taking a few steps forward. "We are all here to support you."

Matt shook his head. "You can't fix this. Nobody can fix this." He picked up a glass and drained the contents.

Armin looked worriedly to Starr. He wasn't sure what to do, breakups just weren't something he had any real understanding of.

"What makes you think my daughter wants to speak to me anyway? I'm a stranger.. yet another person who abandoned her." Matt lowered his head, guilt and pain gnawing at him.

"you did not abandon her!" Armin protested. "Things happen that are beyond our control, you are here now, we are all alive, you did everything you could to keep her safe."

Matt shot Armin an icy look that had the spiderkin recoil.
"Next you'll tell me to be grateful for what we've got yeah? that it's all part of your god's plan?" He shook his head. "forgive me if I can't share your blind optimisim."

Armin ducked his head. "I am sorry my friend." He spoke softly, his voice shaking a little. Matt scared him, there was something about the way he looked at him that was just deeply unsettling. His friend was not himself.
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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 9:07 am

Shane nodded, agreeing with that. "Yeah, after we get some movies."

~~~
"Matt!" Starr spoke his name sharply then continued in a normal tone. "You shouldn't speak to Armin like that, if anyone is to blame for this time travel thing it is the keeper and me. Him for attacking and me for killing him. I understand that you are upset, you have every right to be upset at losing your fiance, but that doesn't mean you can take that pain out on everyone including your daughter. You did what you thought was right at the time, we all did. We both sent our kids to safety and missed so much of their lives because of that choice." She paused there and looked down. "I wish I could have been stronger, held the power better and I am sorry that I couldn't." She took a deep breath and looked to Matt again "We cannot change the past, but you have a whole future to make with your daughter, focus on her, focus on yourself too. I am not saying forget or even forgive this soon, I believe you will find Thalia again someday and can hash out what happened then. You are soul bound to her after all, are you not?" She had thought they were, which was why they were getting married, right? She sighed softly and looked to the drinks on the bar. "You ever make Miruvor?"
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 9:41 am

Matt's expression darkened as Starr scolded him, his eyes narrowing and his fists clenching. He grit his teeth, trying very hard to keep his surging emotions under control. He really didn't feel like he had much control over himself right now, fluctuating wildly between an urge to smash things and absolute despair.

He turned away, hands slowly unclenching, shaking a little. "I don't.. want to find her. I can't forgive her. " Gods, the soul bonding, is that why this hurt so much? Had Thalia even considered that? probably not, she didn't care. His entire relationship with her and been incredibly one sided, he saw that now.

He slumped into a chair, burying his head in his hands as it all came flooding out in ugly sobs. He felt like he was drowning. "it... it's not your fault..." His voice muffled through his hands.

Armin bowed his head sadly, staying quiet. He didn't know what to say, what to do that wouldn't just make things worse.

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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 9:57 am

Starr moved, coming to his side to give him a hug. "We are all here for you Matt. You are like family to us all. Just remember that, we won't give up on or leave you."
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:09 am

Matt moved, resting his head on Starr's chest as she hugged him, his body shuddering as he cried.
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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:15 am

Starr rubbed his back as he cried as well as she could. She looked to Armin briefly then back to Matt.
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:41 am

Armin looked uncertain. What did you say to someone who was grieving like this?

Matt took several deep breaths, trying to get himself under control. Breaking down like this was humiating and he hated it. He wasn't good at talking about his feelings, or actually handling his erratic emotions, he'd lived his life running from bad things and dealing by ignoring them and putting them far far behind himself. He pulled away from Starr, his face streaked with tears and weakly asked "what.. .what's.. Miruvur?"
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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:52 am

Starr smiled softly "A drink dragons make." She replied, moving to go behind the counter and see if they had the ingredients so she could show him. Luckily they did, so she started making enough for two. "One of my favorites actually." It was an odd drink, alcoholic yet healing, sweet yet without sugar. The healing part is why she thought of it, but it was better for him than normal alcohol anyway. At least she hoped it would be.
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:57 am

Matt watched, blearly eyed.

Armin came to watch as well, putting a comforting hand on Matt's shoulder because it was all he knew. Vavare were tactile, when someone was hurting they held them.

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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 12:20 pm

Starr put a cup in front of Matt when she was don and had another in front of herself. "If you don't want it, I will drink it." She said gently. She wouldn't force him after all.
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 12:24 pm

Matt looked at the drink dubiously, then shrugged and downed it. It couldn't be any worse than the other shit he'd been drinking after all.
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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 1:01 pm

Starr sipped hers, though she had to smile when he downed his like that. She had never seen anyone drink this quite so fast before. "What do you think?" She asked curiously.
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 1:03 pm

Matt considered that. "I dunno... I have a shit sense of taste." It didn't taste like alchohol though. "Is it supposed to make me feel better?" Because if not, what was the point? bah.
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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 1:10 pm

"In a way, it can. Though nothing can heal a broken heart except time. It is simply another drink to add to your repertoire if you want to. It has healing properties, but it's not magic or anything like that." Starr replied with a shrug. "My people are given this at a young age to determine what 'sweet' tastes like, so we know what to avoid much of out here. On the dragon world it is simply another drink that helps if they are hurt."
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 1:21 pm

"How?" Matt asked.

Armin too looked curious. "In what manner does it heal?" He inquired.
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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 1:33 pm

Starr thought about that, getting a 'far away' look as she asked her people too. "It helps heal physical injuries and 'restores mental balance' according to the elders. Sometimes what I am told is strange even to me." She added, shaking her head a little.
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 1:41 pm

Armin bowed his head. "that sounds exceedingly useful."

Matt stared into the glass suspiciously. He didn't feel much different. "Maybe it's psychosomatic."
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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 1:58 pm

"Perhaps so." Starr agreed with Matt. "I know it tastes good and is safe to drink, that's good enough for me."
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 2:00 pm

"No sugar or alchohol then?" Armin guessed.

"What's the point of that?" Matt sighed.
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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 2:03 pm

"No sugar, though it is sweet and it does have alcohol in it." Starr replied
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 2:13 pm

"neat." Matt said dully, like he didn't really mean it.

Armin nodded. "An excellent addition to the menu I am sure, less risk to the Star Dragons while allowing them something to drink."

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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 2:40 pm

Starr nodded "Yes, I am glad I was reminded about it." She said with a smile as she looked to Matt again. She wished she knew what to say to him, if anything could be said to make him feel better. She hadn't minded Thalia being around, then again, she hadn't minded Merith either. Maybe she had her own 'bad boy' thing too?
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Post by flying_purple_monkfish Sun Dec 30, 2018 2:45 pm

Matt sighed and poured straight alchohol into the glass. "Shit man.. you went to all that work making outfits too.." Matt shook his head at Armin, feeling bad.

Armin hadn't thought about that, he shook his head. "Your comission is what led me to join your crew, but it is not why I have remained. I do not regret it in the least. If not for you and Thalia, I would not be here. I am grateful."

Matt snorted. "you're so fucking positive about everything."

Armin ducked his head. "I try... it is not always so easy my friend." he spoke quietly. "I find it easier to look on the bright side, to always retain hope. When one allows themselves to give up, that is when darkness creeps into their hearts."

Matt sighed. "I don't know what to do." He admitted, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.
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Post by Starrnico Sun Dec 30, 2018 3:00 pm

"No one does, that is why all advice boils down to focus on the future and take one day at a time. Grief is different for everyone and how you handle it is different too.  Some choose self destruction, others try to cover up the pain though that just makes it fester. Others find little things to live for like mile posts on a road. Others put their pain into work, like Kay does. There is no perfect answer, you must find what works for you and simply not give up even though it hurts." Starr said softly.
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